Looking In Windows
by Shipperness
Summary: Small glimpses of the McCoy's. iPod challenge fic.


iPod Challenge #1 - McCoy's.

Put your iPod on shuffle. Write fic for the first ten songs that play. You only have the duration of each song to write.

Notes: I've loved Star Trek, in every incarnation, for pretty much my whole life but this is my first foray into writing for it. Bones is my favourite TOS character, so this one is all about the McCoy family. All of them.

**Trigger Warning: Story contains non-explicit references to suicide.**

...

.

* * *

**.**

**#1** _**i think he can see through everything but my heart/ first thought when I wake up, is' my God he's beautiful'**_

Jocelyn Hay thought she'd had enough of men for a lifetime until she met Leonard McCoy. He was her brother's best friend but she hadn't met him until she attended their med school graduation with her parents. She had stood there and smiled politely as John introduced them, McCoy had shaken her hand, thrown her a devastating grin, and she'd fallen hard.

Every time she saw him after she'd fallen a little bit farther, while he never seemed to even know she existed. She hid it as best she could, because really, who actually falls for their big brothers best friend. She was such a cliche.

**...**

**#2 **_**you won't try for me, not now/ though i'd die to know you love me, i'm all alone/ isn't something missing/ isn't someone missing me**_

She hadn't meant to have the affair, not really. It wasn't like she'd planned it. But he was never home and when he was, he only had eyes for Joanna. It made Jocelyn feel sick to her stomach to be jealous of her own daughter but it was like she didn't even exist in her own home.

Jo adored her daddy wholeheartedly. She was all of three but already they had their own games, jokes, a little private world and Jocelyn wasn't a part of it. She cooked and cleaned and stayed home with Jo all day every day. He went off to save other people's wives and never saw his own was drowning.

She would take Jo and leave. She knew it would hurt him but at least then he would notice she was alive.

As she left the note (_please, please forgive me...)_ and packed her bags she prayed that one day she would stop loving him, or that he would start loving her.

**...**

**#3 **_**we want the new temptations/ we live on fascination**_

Joanna wanted to know everything about everything. She wanted to travel and see the galaxy, although for now she'd have to make do with exploring the woods around her hometown.

The long letters her dad sent her every week both excited and frightened her - he told her wonderful stories about strange new worlds, fantastic stories. He sent gifts from every shore leave. Her room was filled with beautiful, exotic things.

One day she was going to join Starfleet just like her dad. Her mother scowled everytime she said so.

**...**

**#4 **_**she's an easy lover/ she'll get a hold on you believe it/ like no other/ before you know it you'll be on your knees**_

Damned if he knew how but a year-and-a-half after meeting Johnny Hay's little sister, here he was with a ring in his pocket and his heart in his mouth.

His mother had cautioned him strongly against this, insisting he was too young to get married. But he knew what he was doing. He loved Jocelyn, Jocelyn loved him, they would get married and they'd be together forever.

And yes, he was a romantic fool, but it was so damn easy to love her. He couldn't imagine it wouldn't always be this easy.

Why wait?

**...**

**#5 **_**will I lose my dignity will someone care/ will i wake tomorrow from this nightmare**_

David McCoy was a proud man. And proud men do not take dying slowly well. Having to rely on someone, gradually losing their independence, seeing what it's doing to the people they love and finally losing themselves.

David McCoy was a doctor. He knew what was happening and he knew what he was headed for. Eventually, after months of pleading, he convinced his only son to help him end it.

Before he went he told Leonard that he loved him, was proud of him, was grateful to him.

David McCoy couldn't have known that when they discovered the cure for his disease a mere three months after his death, it would send his only son to a place he would never quite make it back from.

**...**

**#6 **_**and i need you and i miss you.../and you know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see you tonight**_

It took him three shuttles to get from San Francisco to Atlanta and a further train journey to get to Athens.

It was late and there were no cabs in sight so he walked the 17 miles from the station to his ex-wife's house, ignoring the the fact that it was cold, ignoring the fact that he was exhausted, hadn't eaten in a day and hadn't slept in longer. Tried not to think about the endless carnage, the Vulcan refugees, the families of the people he couldn't save. He put one foot in front of the other and didn't ponder the endless Starfleet debriefings he'd escaped as soon as possible to come here.

It was dawn when he knocked on the door. Jocelyn opened it in her bathrobe and leaned weakly against the doorframe, hand covering her mouth as she took him in with wide eyes. He knew he must look goddamn awful. He was still in uniform and hadn't shaved in about a week.

"Can I see her?" his voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper and for once Jocelyn didn't put up a fight, just nodded and let him pass.

Joanna was fast asleep in her bed. Leonard sank to his knees and kissed her hair before resting his forehead on the mattress so he could listen to her breathe.

In the hallway, Jocelyn sobbed quietly into her new husbands chest.

**...**

**#7 **_**the chance was so unlikely that we would ever be/ two stars among the heavens/ destiny brought you to me**_

He'd never expected that he could feel this way about someone again. The demise of his first marriage had hollowed him out. But there had been no rushing into this one. He'd known and loved this woman for 6 years before they'd gotten married. Against the odds, everything they'd been through, they had made it.

Now, as he relaxed in the balmy Georgia evening and watched Jo play with his youngest son, he couldn't quite believe they were all his. As if she knew what he was thinking, Christine reached over and fitted her hand into his.

He was the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe.

**...**

**#8 **_**and they say that a hero can save us/ i'm not gonna stand here and wait**_

She'd been here for almost three weeks. She was pretty sure they hadn't known who she was when they'd taken her class hostage but one look at the school log had fixed that. They had the famous Leonard McCoy's daughter, a perfect bargaining chip. She'd instantly been separated from her classmates and moved to a more secure location.

If Joanna McCoy knew anything, she knew that her father would tear apart the universe to get to her and Jim Kirk would be right behind him, so she sat tight and bided her time.

She knew they were close when she felt the complex shudder as explosions ripped through the exterior walls, took out the shields. She heard the guards talking in panicked whispers as the faint sounds of phaser fire drifted into the maximum security containment area. It could mean only one thing: they were here to get her.

But Jo was nothing if not a McCoy, with all the impatience that came with it and she'd been sitting still for three weeks. Crouching in a corner of her cell, she shoved her fingers down her throat until she loudly retched up her meagre dinner, adding some pathetic moans for effect. She couldn't quite believe it when the door of her cell opened up and the guard stepped in.

The guard came up behind her and when he put his hand on her shoulder she landed a perfect shot to his windpipe with her elbow - move courtesy of her Uncle Jim - and used his phaser to stun the other one - marksmanship lessons courtesy of one Hikaru Sulu.

When Leonard McCoy turned into the corridor leading to the maximum security wing, the first thing he saw was his daughter running to meet him.

**...**

**#9 **_**isn't she lovely/ isn't she wonderful/ isn't she precious/ less that one minute old**_

He was gone as soon as he saw her.

She was red and screaming, covered in blood and slime, ugly as all get out and angry at the world for suddenly being in the bright, white hospital room instead of safe under her mother's heart, and she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life.

When they put her in his arms she screamed so loud he thought she'd bust a lung so he pressed a kiss to her sticky forehead and whispered "easy, girl". At the sound of his voice, familiar through many hours of talking to Jocelyn's belly, she quieted and gazed up at him with the same eyes he saw in the mirror every day. Then she screamed at him again.

Goddamn he'd never love anything else this much as long as he lived.

**...**

**#10 **_**just wait though wide he may roam/ always a hero comes home**_

Louise McCoy was a worrier. She couldn't help it. Her boy, her only child, was his own worst enemy.

When David had begged Leonard to kill him, she'd held his hand as their son administered the fatal dose and he slipped away. And then she'd held her son as he cried on his knees beside his father's deathbed.

When they discovered the cure for the disease she thought she might lose Leonard too, to the drink or his own broken heart. But her boy was a fighter and he carried on, and when his little girl was born the world had purpose for him again.

When Jocelyn took his daughter away he fought, and lost, and no amount of pleading could convince that woman to give him more access than the judge had granted.

When he joined Starfleet, she was worried. When he went up, she didn't sleep. And for days and nights she watched the holo's of the disaster on Vulcan, the decimation of the fleet, waited to hear any news, good or bad. She was surrounded by friends and neighbours who held her hand, waited with her and gave no comfort.

When the comm rang and Leonard's tired face appeared on it, she held it together as she spoke to him and then fainted clean away when he rang off.

In the days that followed she watched with those same friends and neighbours as the news holo's reported on the Enterprise, the heroism and bravery of James Kirk and his crew, the brilliant medical team - led by Dr Leonard McCoy - who'd taken care of the remaining Vulcans, healed the injured crew and performed life saving surgery on one of the 'fleet's best Captains.

Her boy was a hero. And he was coming home.


End file.
